don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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