Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
