I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
