Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
