I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
