butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
