I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize