i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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