Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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