i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
