If that was your dad, he is hot
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize