People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
