i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
