I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize