You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
