I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
