How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
