party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
