hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize