and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Drunk is a universal language darling
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