I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
