I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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