oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
