I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
