I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
