we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
