idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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