DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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