worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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