it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
