My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
