rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
