whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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