there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize