'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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