is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
