He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I intend to get homeless drunk
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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