just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
