Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
