I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
