Porn is love you can see.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
