If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
