The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
