Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize