My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have peed in a lot of sinks
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
