if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
wow bdsm is so cute
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