Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
