You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
smell my finger.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize