a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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