I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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