we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
