Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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