I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
