can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
