my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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