i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
