Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
