So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
