Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
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