Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
