I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Its about making memories worth repressing
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
