But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
