I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
