Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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