Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
