I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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