And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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