last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
